Kitchen Stand-Off...

This started out as a Facebook status update, but ran too long.  This really happened.  :-)

There is a stand-off in the kitchen. The human is fixing sesame teriyaki noodles and meatballs. To his right: the dog - "Meatball? I smell meatball? Give me meatball? Meatball? I smell meatball?" To his left: the cat - "I don't care what you are making, but you will be giving it to me. I'm waiting. If you do not give me what you are making, I will be forced to use my claws." The human reaches for the minced onion. The cat head-buts him in the kneecap and digs a claw into his ankle. The dog smells meatball and takes a step forward. The cat jumps off the human's foot and claws the dog's face. Both creatures land in their original positions. The stand-off resumes. Cat: "You aren't planning on eating that, are you? It will be mine." Dog: "Meatball? Meatball? Meatball?" The human removes the meatballs from the microwave and starts to drop them in the noodles. "MEATBALL!" The dog tries to knock the human over so the last meatball falls to the floor. The cat moves faster and knocks the falling beefsphere under the baby-gate that keeps the dog out of the basement. The cat is certain to twitch her tail in the dog's face as she crawls under the gate to claim her prize. Taking note, the human removes two slices of American cheese from the refrigerator. As he opens the wrappers, the cat runs back into the kitchen, her meatball forgotten. "CHEESE IS MINE! CHEESE IS MINE!" Turns out, the dog likes cheese too, and is delighted to wolf down two slices, sharing none with the cat. The human then transfers the noodles from the saucepan into a bowl, gets a pair of chopsticks from the drawer, and retires with his lunch to the computer room.